Feeling Bitchy

This quarantine feels eternal. I succumbed for two days to feeling crotchety and bitchy, angry at the world: my wooly socks that resisted my efforts to yank them onto my feet; the pull up tab on a tin can of tomatoes that refused pulling up. (Hubby’s comment: what will you do when I’m not around); the soup that boiled over in its pan (because I forgot to turn off the flame); my inability to stop snacking; the misguided who don’t respect the quarantine. I won’t go on.

Then, suddenly, I had a great day, reminding me that nothing is forever. What made it great? The shining sun, inviting the fall leaves to show off their golden and ruby colors; a morning email informing me that online magazine Literary Traveler accepted an article I’d submitted (yes!); Radio Beethoven playing Rossini’s overture to the opera Masmetto II, and ALL music, for that matter, now that our only classical music station is back on the air after a lapse of several months, just in time for quarantine. I think ahead to the joy of attending a live concert in the future.

It’s important these days to have things to look forward to. I’ll be relieved to visit the dentist. I’ve had a loose molar since the beginning of quarantine and I’m tired of months of chewing my food on one side of my mouth.

Rain is announced for the next couple of days. I pray that the weather app knows its stuff. How I long to hear the swish of a heavy rain. All the growing things in my garden and the surrounding dull brown hills would give thanks as well.

 How satisfying and comforting the books I’ve read in this time of solitude, (more satisfying than snack food), the last two written by Sue Monk Kidd. Now I’m reading The Last Wilderness by Neil Ansell, who describes his solitary walks through the Scottish Highlands. Anything to put me in a Scottish frame of mind as I sit in front of my computer waiting for inspiration on my novel. I wanted to play some Scottish music but the CD player wouldn’t cooperate. I’ll have to try YouTube

            I’ll enjoy preparing for our book club meeting in 10 days, via zoom. I will be the moderator as I suggested this month’s book The Invention of Nature. Alexander Von Humboldt’s New World by Andrea Wulf. What an extraordinary, brilliant man Von Humboldt and so unknown. This fascinating book is a must for all nature lovers. I had my son bring me a copy from the States because I wanted to be able to underline and place the volume on my bookshelf among the keepers.

            In this time of contemplation many turn to nature for spiritual sustenance. How fortunate are those who live in the countryside or at the coast, in less developed places. Our city garden is small but I can look out my back window and rest my eyes on the feathery branches of the California redwood tree I brought to Chile as a seedling thirty years ago. It is my forest.

Scotsmen on My Mind

Two-week Coronavirus lockdown again. The entire city of Santiago. If I’m not allowed out, I determine to make good use of my free time (when not cooking, sweeping, ordering groceries on line). So this is the perfect time to pour myself into my writing. Right? My historical novel based on the life of a Scottish great-aunt. It’s actually more research than writing. The research takes me there. As I study the family tree on my computer screen, long dead family members come alive. The past few days I’ve been reading about early 19^th century Gibraltar, where my grandmother spent time as a governess for a naval captain’s children. I have a few photographs she took while there which give me inspiration and give flight to my imagination – two small boys in sailor suits, the family with my grandmother,  officers in dress uniform, aa Royal Navy steamship.

What better way to get into a Scottish frame of mind than to immerse myself in the world of the Outlander series? Jamie Fraser is my kind of Scotsman: blue-eyes, red hair, powerful physique and winning accent. Exposed to my Outlander marathon, I just may slip into speaking like a true Scotswoman! After all, it’s in my DNA.

So I deal with quarantine retreating into an imaginary world. Aye, I’ve sighed over Jamie Fraser’s brawny good looks, but it’s difficult to imagine myself with someone that young. By the last episode, I’d changed my loyalties for that tough, gray-bearded rakish Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser. Enamored, I check him out on Google. Damn. He’s twenty years younger than I.     

Well, I did marry a Gordon, a Spanish-speaking Chilean, twice removed from Scotland. The only thing Scottish about him is his last name. When I met him, he looked more like Pancho Villa, moustache and all, than Jamie or Murtagh.

Succulents, Weeds and Other Wild Critters

A few days ago I bought myself a Mother’s Day present on-line. A cardboard box of twelve tiny succulent seedlings, along with a spray bottle. On a trip to the drier north months ago I’d gathered cuttings of a variety of succulents and cacti. Though I managed to get them to root in sand, they all dried up after I transplanted them in especially researched and prepared soil. I blame our extremely hot summer and global warming, though you’d think they would have been happy in that climate. I lost several plants this past summer. My two potted tomato plants were not happy campers either. One, after producing a few tomatoes, shriveled and bit the dust. The other one decided to yield one tomato and two promising-looking blooms.

    In the time of quarantine on-line shopping has blossomed. I bought the succulent seedling kit for my two daughters-in-law as well. 

        Yesterday our youngest granddaughter, Mila, celebrated her first birthday. We bought her a set of musical instruments and an animal puzzle (with animal sounds when she places the right piece), all made out of wood.  Mila came with her mom and dad and opened her presents in our front yard, all of us wearing masks, except Mila. No hugs allowed.

        This morning the doorbell rang, which is unusual these days. A big wooden box was delivered. At first sight I thought it was a box of fruit of the season. Apples? Pears? But no. Lined with a large sheet of brown paper, the box held our breakfast: a bag of assorted fresh breads, jars of honey, cream cheese and Nutella, yoghurts, two tea bags, a jar of juice and a little nosegay. Breakfast in a box. What a delight to receive such an unexpected gift! With malls closed, creativity blooms.

        In Coronavirus times, with many options denied, I’m challenged to come up with alternatives for using my time. Cooking is not my favorite pastime, but I feel pleased with myself when I come up with original ideas for using left-overs. I’m a gardener of sorts, but our garden is looking sad now in fall and I can’t go out to buy some bright flowers. I’ll check if I can buy plants online. I’ve been entertaining myself feeding the three birds that consider our tiny garden theirs: a robin and two rufous-collared sparrows. I’m trying to train the robin to come when I whistle. He’s been coming closer to me, but is still very wary. And to think that in San Francisco California, coyotes are romping around as if they owned the place.

        How I miss contact with the natural world. I read about a new hobby in England that combines botany with city streets and sidewalks called botanical chalking. I love the idea! If you identify a weed growing in the cracks, write its name next to it with chalk. The first challenge is to learn to identify the weeds (got plenty in our patch of grass in the back yard)! But this must be in a public space, the idea being to promote an appreciation for those lowly beings we call weeds.

    An interesting, worthwhile project to fill those pandemic hours.